This blog consists of random thoughts that are going through my head. I'm writing them down as they come. So it might be a bit messy and have a lot of unfinished sentences.
I haven't re-read it!
It's no good trying to stop them right now, so I'm just letting them rush through me and maybe put some of them into this blog, while listening to the beautiful music from Blade Runner.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRUD2Daz5q8
I'm 21, turning 22 in less than a month. I am in Tokyo and I'm the happiest I have ever been, I feel. Yet have no clue of what I want to do with my life. I know I want to do something meaningful. Something that makes me happy and something that makes other people happy. But what will make me happy? I know for a fact that I will never be able to live my whole life, doing a 9-5 job.
Well, I'm happy right now. Really happy. Why am I happy? I guess it's because I feel free. I can do what ever I want to do. I'm in a different country and I don't know anyone. No one knows me!
By "no one knows me" I of course don't mean I am all alone. I've met so many great people these past 5 weeks and have had quite a few fantastic experiences!!!
The longer I'm here the more I feel at home. The more I feel like Denmark just isn't the place for me. Not yet at least!
Sure my family and friends are in Denmark, but it just doesn't feel like home. Never has. For me, the country just has this miserable feeling about it, and I never feel really happy for a long period.
Then again, I've only been in Tokyo for 5 weeks. I might think the same of japan as I do of Denmark, in a month or two. But I doubt it. Not yet!
I wouldn't mind staying for a while. I don't feel like I've got too much (or many) I'd have a hard time saying goodbye too.
These past 5 weeks I have been living in a dream. Especially the past 3 while my friend has been visiting. Unfortunately she's going back to Denmark in a few days, so I'll be a lone traveler again. But this is still just the beginning of my adventure!
If I don't find a way of staying here after my travel plans stop, I'm going to have a very hard time getting back into a normal rhythm in Denmark again. I know for sure, I'll be slightly depressed for a while.
I'm just so happy now. I'm so relaxed and so free.
Before traveling I had a lot of doubts. Especially the last week before I left. I had nights where I could barely sleep and had stomach aches and didn't want to leave.
The thought of actually taking the first step and leaving for such a long time, to the other side of the planet, on my own. To a country where I couldn't speak the language and whose culture is so different than what I've grown up with. A lot of my doubts were about the financial aspect too of course.
What if japan was a let down? What if I didn't want to stay for the 3 months I was planning on. What if I couldn't due to financial problems?
What about all the people I would let down. All the people I had been telling about my trip for months and months. What about letting myself down?
For some of you guys three months doesn't sound like anything. Maybe it's not. Maybe it is. I have never traveled for more than a month before and I have never traveled alone before. And I have definitely never traveled alone for more than a month before!
Even though I haven't giving my future much thought yet, while being here, I've still learnt quite a few things about myself.
If I am to say so myself I've got a pretty good understanding of who I am already. Much more than other people my age. I've also got a better understanding of people in general, than most (especially more than people my age).
Who I am and who I want to be is getting clearer and clearer every day.
It's funny what a completely different country, with a different culture and with different people can do to you. It can really make you see yourself in a new way and it can really change you!
I'm definitely not finished with you yet, japan!
You might wonder why I'm writing this. Well this blog is as much a blog where I let people know about what's going on, as it's a diary. This is something I'll look back on later on, and thoughts about myself and my situation do fill quite a lot!
Now I shall turn off my blade runner soundtrack and try to get some sleep. It's 5am now.
Goodnight! *^.^*
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